Thursday, December 27, 2012

A few days after Christmas...and im lazy!!

Wow!! Christmas has came and gone!! How crazy..time is flying!! Monday we will be 16 weeks!!
How was everyone Christmas? Ours was Christmas was busy!
Sunday went to my stepdads side of the family
Monday went to the in laws had dinner, and open gifts and went to church service
Tuesday went to my moms..had tons of presents to open the little boys got spoiled!! but it was a blast to watch them open the gifts they opened..they got side tracked by toys and toys and more toys!
I had the best Christmas present ever..and that's the wonderful miracle growing inside of me! what a blessing it is!! and a wonderful gift! I got a bunch of gift cards..they are needed because im growing out of my clothes!! Baby got his/or/her first pair of John deer Socks and tractor and a bear that plays music
I took my tree down the night of xmas...yes i was sick of looking at it and my cats were going to destroy it..Now i have so much cleaning to do its soo soo so overwhelming!! I wanna scream!! EEEK!!
but today was L.A.Z.Y day for me..i know i had alot to do..but i need it..i was tired, and overwhelmed..and i even took and hr and half nap...Baby is surly taking alot out of momma!! But thats ok..Im blessed to have a wonderful family and husband who help me out... Even though i feel like a failure as a wife sometimes because i just don't have energy to do anything yet..but my husband is so truly blessed!
1 goal i have for 2013 is to start going to church more..i love our church and i want our child to grow up with god in his/or/her life!!
Going to church just makes you feel so much better!!

well here are some pictures of this weekend :) Enjoy!

Baby Bear from grandma/grandpa Newman

John Deer Socks & Tractor from Grandpa/Grandma Himle

Christmas Day with my favorite christmas gift!

15 weeks pregnant

Monday, December 24, 2012

alot to be thankful for!

Merry Christmas Eve!
What a year it has been..So many ups and downs, Tears and Smiles!
This Time last year we were pondering the idea of starting fertility medication again after our sad/ devastating miscarriage.The miscarriage took alot out of me physically and emotional i lost a small piece of my heart, and couldn't figure out why me? after everything i been threw why me? I will never know the answer..But i do has made me one stronger person!
Here we are sitting here 1 year later and were are 15 weeks pregnant..How blessed are we?..i think about our babys almost every day..i have a special necklace i wear..But these baby angels are watching over there baby brother/or/sister and helping him or her grow..This baby is going to be so loved..words can't even explain! Its so loved already! Baby Newman is a special little baby..after 8 1/2 long years we get our miracle blessing what more can you ask for? We still have so much to do in the next 5 1/2 months..but i know my family and in laws will help because some how some way everything works out at the end!!
I am blessed with an amazing family!! Wow, where would i be with out them? Lost, sad, crazy?!? hard telling they are there for me no matter what!! I have the best of friends anyone could ask for..only a few friends but you know what...thats all i need i don't need the drama..and the few i have...they mean the world to me!
But most of all my amazing husband! He has been my rock we have been threw so much...and i mean SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much!! He has been so strong and forgiving and loving and caring! He is truly perfect! Hes my sole mate  and best friend and soon to be an amazing father to our baby. I am so thankful for everyone in my life! Thank you to everyone!! I hope you all have a blessed Holiday!!


I Loved You From The Start

Submitted by: AFKitten
Author: Unknown
I loved you from the very start…

You stole my breath, embraced my heart.

Our life together has just begun,

You’re part of me, my little one.

As mother with child, each day I knew

My mind would be filled with thoughts of you.

I’m daydreaming of the things we’ll share,

Like late-night bottles and teddy bears.

Like first steps and skinned knees,

Like bedtime stories and ABC’s.

I’m thinking of things you’ll want to know,

Like how birds fly and flowers grow.

I’ve thought of lessons I’ll need to share,

Like standing tall and playing fair.

When I first see your precious face,

I’ll pray your life be touched with grace.

I’ll thank the angels from above,

And promise you unending love.

Each night I’ll lay you down to sleep,

I’ll gently kiss your head and cheek.

I’ll count your little fingers and toes,

I’ll memorize your eyes and nose.

I will linger at your nursery door,

Awed each day that I love you more.

Through misty eyes, I’ll dim the light,

And whisper, “I love you” every night.

As mother with child our journey’s begun,

My heart’s yours forever, little one.

I loved you from the very start…

You stole my breath, embraced my heart

Our First Glimpse

Submitted by: cma2a17
Author: unknown
Today we saw
Our first glimpse of You.
A little piece of heaven
Our dream come true.
The day we will meet
Seems so far away.
But until you're ready
In my womb safely stay.
Our gift from Angels
Sent from above
For us to cherish
And forever to love.

Friday, December 21, 2012


15 weeks are just around the corner...things seem to be going good...
Iv been stressing out alot, worrying about losing, or im going to wake up and there is going to be no scared i want my baby to keep growing and i want him/or/her to go full term and be happy and healthy. Im tired all the time..i drink a cup of water and pee 10X in an hour lol... I can't keep up on the house work, because im so tired...Iv been having alot of pressure in the pelvic area when im up on my feet to much and im worried something might go wrong, or something is going wrong. Im craving sweets like crazy but if i eat to many i get sick..So that comes to I will be happy when Holidays are done and over with, no more cookies, cakes, fudges ect..i feel like a gigantic house..its just a mind thing i know..but after being almost 300lbs then dropping down to 160 and then getting up to 175 and now your a little over 185..YIKES!!!!!!!! i feel like a fatty :-/
I also feel like im not doing enough for my husband and or family. I feel like im not a good wife sometimes i feel like a crabby grumpy witchy wife..and i feel like i don't watch my nephews enough when needed or help my family when needed...
I think my body HATES to be pregnant!!! Iv always been an outgoing bubbly fun to be around person..and now i wanna sleep and have no energy and crabby and just..BLAH!
I am blessed 1billion% to be pregnant with this baby i will do anything for him or her..I just feel like all these crazy hormones are making me a horrible person to be around... Maybe its just me...i dunno!!

pregnancy photo

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

14 weeks (yesterday)

14 weeks (yesterday) everything seems to be going is growing, im growing lol! Its pretty easy to find the hb on my doppler now its so neat because its so loud sometimes and you can hear baby moving and grooving around! Can't wait to start feeling baby move!

My only concern and worrisome is

yesterday i went to my regular doc for what i thought i had a yeast infection (didn't have one) and she did a urine test just to make sure everything was ok...she told me that i had sugar in my urine and alot of it my number was above 500!!! she said it should be at a zero!! So i got home (moms house) and cried because i was worried..and called my nurse last night no answer..called this morning no answer..left messages both times..and still no call back! what the heck?!? so at 14 weeks i may or may not have gestational diabets? im not sure..just know that sugar spilling out in your urine is NOT OK! then i took my blood sugar after dinner last night it was 177 and this morning it was 84 but my sister told me to check it an hr after i we will see what it says then! Im just hoping and praying the doctor or nurse will call me back SOON!!

14 weeks

Monday, December 10, 2012

2nd trimester...Helloooo 13 weeks :)

WOW!! after 8 long years of trying and 1 mc..i can't believe im finally saying..HELLO 2ND TRIMESTER!!!
Where has the time gone? 13 weeks already! Im am so happy!!
so whats been going on'
My belly is growing and so are my boobs..yeah there gigantic!! they were so sore the other night i had cold water bottles sitting on them..haven't been sick in almost a week..** knock on wood ** Everything seems to be going pretty good..i have the every day growing pains..and a lack of sleep! but i will take it all!!!
I am truly blessed, and so excited!!!
Jan 17th we have our next doctors appt the big one..will it be a boy or girl?!? however...were having a gender revel party on the 19th so we won't know until then! Just want to spend that special moment with our friends and family!! Im excited!! Im  thinking baby is a girl!! :)
Either way im fine with it!!

Here is my 13 week picture...i look like crap..but wanted to get a cute picture in the snow :)

Monday, November 26, 2012

11 week!!


Im starting to get a little more energy still get very tired at night time around 530ish
Im ready to eat dinner and relax around that time!

Start weight was 183.
todays weight 183.6
i haven't gained much but my belly looks gigantic!!!

We can hear the babys heartbeat on the doppler a very strong heartbeat..Makes me 1 happy momma!!
Leo and i bought a baby bib, and burp rag that other was at someones house who made homemade items..

I have my days where i can eat anything, and other days where i can't eat nothing!

Thanksgiving with the family was a blast!! We had my moms thanksgiving on thanksgiving day...a big ol turkey and all the fixings..i hate some but not much...and my mom, marie and i went black thursday/friday shopping..and boy did it whip my butt i couldn't even go into walmart (the last store we went to ) i was soo tired..but it was so fun!! got some great deals!! It was so much fun!!

Had my inlaws thanksgiving Yesterday and we had a Ham with all the fixings..i did fill my belly yesterday!!

a week from today i have my 12 week doctors appt!! Yippie...well baby is just trucking along...before we know it i will be in my 2nd trimester!! how exciting!!

11 Weeks

Monday, November 12, 2012

Hello 9 Weeks...

Today im 9 weeks pregnant yippie :)

i have had to get me a few new shirts since my boobs are growing other shirts just don't fit me right..also got me a few pairs of pants also because i swear my hips are growing overnight

morning/night and afternoon sickness comes and goes...and tender breast and growing belly and nasuea
and tired...and peeing all the
But i will take all the symptoms!! lol can't wait till thanksgiving and spend time with my family!!

p-s baby is the size of a cherry :)

Sunday, November 4, 2012

being pregnant is scary...

8 weeks tomorrow and being pregnant is scary!!!!!!!!!
every thing i worry about..every little pain or mild cramp or belly ach..when im sure/or/at least its just growing pains! when you something so bad you worry and worry!!  i wish i didn't have to wait till December 3rd to go back to the doctor but...thats how it is i guess...a waiting game!
My body is growing 8 weeks!! and if you know me i freak out about gaining weight after loosing 120lbs and gaining weight is scary!! I still on weight restriction..i can't life much more then 25lbs more then a few times a day...and if i walk more then half hour i start life has been kinda crummy lately..My family is doing an awesome job with supporting me anyway they can!! Im so thankful for that!

nausea seems to hit me whenever it wants today...ate breakfast went to fleet farm to go shopping and i had to throw up...yes i hate throwing up in public places...but i had to!

peeing...when they say your pregnant and you pee thats soo true!! im up a few times every night peeing..remind you i do drink a bunch of water during the day and evening

and my boobs are

I am very blessed to have baby newman...but being pregnant is hard!! :(
Can't wait to meet baby :)

Doctors apt update

 There is baby bean :)
the day this was taken we were 7weeks 1 day pregnant with a heartbeat of 142 bpm Due date is June 17th
2 days before our 9 year wedding anniversary! How exciting to have a new baby to celebrate our anniversary...or either be in the delivery room!!That would be a great anniversary gift :)

Monday, October 29, 2012

7 weeks 1 day...and doctors apt tomorrow!!

Whoop whoop! we have made it to 7 weeks and 1 day pregnant..with no cramps and no bleeding
just mild spotting from the progesterone 1st ultrasound is tomorrow and let me tell you my mind is freaking out like crazy!! I wanna see a little baby and a little heartbeat..i don't wanna see nothing like last time..i keep remembering how last year we walked in excited and there was no baby i know this pregnacy is different then last year...but its still scary!! im trying to stay calm and busy...went out for a walk...been doing laundry and dishes and catching up on my dvr...but my mind is still going crazy..i bet i get little or no sleep!!

Last pg

found out we were pregnant at 3 1/2-4 weeks along
1st hcg levels 220
then dropped to 170 2 days later
then jumpped to 567 2 days later
then 876 2 days later

Lots of bleeding, lots of cramping
1st ultrasound  7 weeks 2 days..showed no baby no heart beat
blight ovum pregnacy
d&e on Halloween

On progesterone suppositories 20mg twice a day
then upped to 50mg still was bleeding alot  twice a day

This pregnancy
Found out we were pregnant 3-31/2 weeks along
1st hcg 37
2nd hcg 147
doctor was happy with them numbers

No bleeding, No cramping
very very tired
morning/afternoon sickness
can't eat popcorn (makes me sick)

On progesterone suppositories 50mg twice a day
1st ultrasound will be 7 weeks 2 days....lets HOPE and pray tomorrow goes well!!!!!!

Friday, October 26, 2012

6 weeks 6 days :)

We are almost to our 7th week!! whoop whoop!! how exciting!!
So far everything seems to be going good..No cramping(mild cramping i guess from my body growing, but nothing painfull) no bleeding (a few pink spots but irritation of the cervix from the suppositories  however i freaked out when i seen it i cried..but everything is good! I hope!! :)
I am tired all the time..i don't sleep well! Iv had a few cases of sickness...i can't eat popcorn it makes me bloated for sure..and i pee all the time!! But i will take it all!!! I can't wait until our 1st ultrasound next Tuesday im so excited!! But scrared...This time last year..i found out i was not pregnant the babys never grew i needed a d&c on halloween...but i was bleeding and lots of far this pregnacy seems so much different so im hoping to see a baby on tuesday and maybe see a little heartbeat!! My mom and hubby are both going to my apt im excited to have them there :)

will update on Tuesday :)

Sunday, October 14, 2012

5 weeks :)

Yippie we have made it to 5 weeks! and  yes im a crazy lady who pees on pregnancy test all the time..haha
Everything seems to be going good...Im tired all the time...No bleeding...No cramping...Im trying to stay calm and relaxed and taking it easy so i can have a happy and healthy pregnancy!

The baby is a size of an apple seed

But so far so good :) Lets  hope October 30th we can see our little baby :) Please pray that everything is going good!!!
Thank you!!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

4 weeks 5 day..

Hello 4 weeks 5 days pregnant!! Hello being Tired!!
We have our 1st us October 30th at 930am
I wish that day would come a little faster!!! it truly is going to be the L.O.N.G.E.S.T, 2 1/2 weeks of my life.. I just want to go and see my little baby! Iv been feeling good..Very much different then last years pregnancy
-No bleeding
-Not many cramps
-Very Tender breast
-Tired all the time
-Bm problems (tmi)

I can only hope and pray that everything is perfect on the 30th!! I don't know what i will do if something is wrong..because i feel like everything is going right this time..I will be heartbroken ! But im going to stay positive..Everything will be ok..Baby will be perfect and there will be a little heartbeat :)

Here is some info on baby :)

Your baby today

The embryo, still less than 3 mm long, now has a deep and narrow groove extending along its entire length. This groove will soon become so deep and its edges will curl over so much that it forms into a tube running along the length of the embryo.
Baby is size of a poppy seed :)

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Ok.....drumroll please........

Yes ladys!! Were 4 Weeks pregnant tomorrow!! we are very early..i actually got a positive pg test 5 days before i was suppose to test

Thursday my hcg levels were 37
Saturday: hcg levels are 147
doctor is very happy with how things are going

iv had mild cramping..i get very tired and my body gets kinda sore after walking all day...went were on the go from 9am to 3pm and im tired!!!!!!!! i have not been sleeping good..kinda freaking out kinda like everything is so un-real
we were pregnant this time last year and i was bleeing the day after i took a pg test and bleed for non stop for like 3 weeks and it ended in a d&c on Halloween
i feel cramps...this pregnacy all ready feels different then before! Im happy <3 and i have an ultrasound in 3 weeks!! hope and pray that baby bean sticks and keeps growing and growing!!!!!

Due date is June 16th :) 

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Great News Today!!

Well We did more shots and had another Ultrasound today!!
and we had an "almost" mature 1 more day of shots and then we take our ovadril shot on Friday!!!!! So all it takes is one follie!! so fingers crossed that we got our miracle baby!! Im excited were go away for the weekend and going to stay at a hotel and relax!!! Im so thankful for all the love and support everyone has gave Leo and i! i would be so lost with out all my friends and family!!

So: YIPPIE for good news :)

Have a great weekend everyone!!!
Bring on the baby dust and prayers!

Monday, September 17, 2012

This crazy cycle.......

9-3-Af started
9-4 -af
9-5 -5mg of femrea
9-6-5mg of femera
9-7-5mg of femera
9-8-5mg of femera
9-9-5mg of femera
9-10-wait (let follies grow)
9-11-wait (let follies grow)
9-12-wait (let follies grow)
9-13-wait (let follies grow)
9-14 -Us...*Great then 10* Started Gonal F 150
9-15-150 gonal f
9-16 150 gonal f
9-17 -Us...*great then 10* nothing really has changed besides my lining is thicker
another 150 of gonal f
9-18-150 gonal f
9-19-150 gonal f
9-20 -Us**will have to see what it says :) *
Can you say lots of crazy hormones!!!!!!!!!

a NEVER ending cycle......

So...a little run down
we did 5 days on femera
had an us...nothing measurable...but they were around 10 or so... (follies that is)
ok..after that u/s doc wanted us to do 3 days of gonal f 150 so we did 3 days of gonal f
another us today...nothing has really the doc wants us to do another 150 of gonal f for 3 days an another us on Thursday.......Lord please let us have good news on Thursday!!
If not im DONE with this cycle and move onto next month!!

Saturday, September 15, 2012

sometimes..i feel....alone........

Sometimes i feel alone........i know i have my family and my few friends...but yet i still feel alone....
No one understand the fertility 2 will be an year since we got our 1st big fat positive..will i ever get over this?!? will i get my bfp again?? Im trying to help everyone and be the best wife..friend...aunt..daughter.. granddaughter..ect..i can be...I try to keep myself busy...You know i haven't cried in a long time.........haven't cried after my cycle last month..or the month before that...I think all this stuff makes me feel numb sometimes....No one understand the hormones...How one day your fine..the next day you wanna kill everyone.....Maybe sometimes i just ask to much of people?!?
I dunno today is a horrible day ant its ONLY 9:32am!!!

Friday, September 14, 2012

Happy Fricken Ultrasound day..........

Hello Everyone!!
Today i had a nice vaginal ultrasound again.....isn't it so nice to be pocked and prodded..ugh how flipping annoying!! anywho...its been almost 2 weeks and i needed a follie check up since i was on femera 7.5mg..and well guess what my body is still broken..didn't produce much..a few tiny i thought once again...another failed cycle..but by doc called and wanted me to add some gonal f shots into the picture and come back in on Monday for another us..made me happier!! :) so
Gonal f 150 friday night
gonal f 150 saturday night
gonal f 150 sunday night
and monday another us!! hopefully these tiny follies grew grew grew!!!!! keeping fingers crossed!

Thursday, September 6, 2012

a little update

Hello!! so i started my diet..and its killing me!! haha jk! :)
day 1-2 i did protein shakes, and broth
day 3-today i did protein shake and broth, and a few carrots

so things are going pretty good..exercising a little..been tired and busy and doing cleaning and watching the nephews!
im back down to 171 so im pretty happy and i know alot is water weight
hopefully i can get down to 165 in the next month!

well today is cycle day 4..2nd day of femera 5mg! I have an us on the 14th to check the follies..fingers cross that they are growing growing growing and then we can take our ovadril and make a baby!! yippie..ok lets just hope and pray :)

Monday, September 3, 2012

5 day.pouch test....

Since i had rny(weight loss surgery) almost 3  yrs ago(jan will be 3 yrs) iv been craving lots of carbs and been kinda of nuts about im going to be doing the 5 day pouch helps stop the carb cravings and shrinks my pouch a little and helps me get back into protein 1st!!im going to do the liquid diet for 3 days..vs 2

Iv done it before and it helps alot get back on track
also im going to exercise alot more!! so lets hope i get back on track and get the pounds off!!
it looks like this
Days One & Two: three Liquid Protein
low-carb protein shakes, broth, clear or cream soups, sugar-free gelatin and pudding. 
Day 4: Soft Protein
canned fish (tuna or salmon) eggs, fresh soft fish (tilapia, sole, orange roughy
Day 5: Firm Protein 
ground meat (turkey, beef, chicken, lamb), shellfish, scallops, lobster, fresh salmon or halibut.
Day 6: Solid Protein
white meat poultry, beef steak, pork, lamb, wild game

at my biggets...then down 122.5lbs


Back up weight.... :(

stupid af..........

yep! thats right..another round down the showed her ugly face.......but guess what no provera to bring it on!!!!!!! so i am way way way excited about that...i would have been way way more excited about it just not showing but what can i do..take it day by day..or min by min if i hate to!!

my weekend has been crazy busy but i have enjoyed every min of it!!
will write more later :)

hope everyone is enjoying labor day!!

Friday, August 31, 2012

Im going to try...........

Im going to try and make the best out of today and the rest of the weekend
I take a pg test next week if its positive yippie if not then i will suck it up and move on to the next round of medication..i mean 1 more round isn't going to kill me..haha...i try not to be negative but sometimes i am..its hard.. especially when every person you know has a child but you! I would love to join the gym but i can't fork out 300$ i mean i have the money is savings but im not willing to take that out and use it towards a gym at my highest weight again 175! yikes!!! i feel and look like a blob :( my lowest every was 164/5- i would love to get down to at least 165 again..thats 10lbs i gotta get off ok..sounds easy enough right..WRONG because these flippen ten lbs don't wanna come off!! I did talk with a trainer but iv been thinking about it if i wanna do it or not...i have the tools i just need to push myself to do it...i need to walk/jog every day and eat right..iv done it before i can do it again..ugh..seems so easy but its not!!
so my small goals

drop 3lbs
walk every day even if its only 20min
do 30 sit-ups every day
drink alot more water
drink my 2 protein shakes a day
stay away from as many carbs as possible
stay away from candy/junk food
stay away from adult beverages

i can do this........................i think!!..................................

Thursday, August 30, 2012

i sit and wonder......

I sit and wonder if my time will ever come as a mother...This 2 week wait is killing me...iv had some symptoms of pregnancy however since im on progesterone that can give me the same symptoms! I want anything more then to be a mom..8 long years is to long on my gets to the point were nothing surprises me i don't cry anymore..i try to keep myself calm and stress free but..if you know a stresser..easier said then done...i have so many options to think i take a few months of again
drop another 15lbs and then start again? i do believe weight plays a factor i did get pregnant when i was at my lowest weight..i would love to join a gym i can't afford with between bills, and fertility medication, ect..and i would like to get a new vehicle but i don't see that happening anytime in the near future.... i stick with femera and do a few more rounds and hope for the best? insurances covered the femera so it only cost 3$ very nice on the pocket book...i didn't have any mature follies last round..but i did get a positive opk test..however..just because i got a positive opk dosent mean i actually ovulated it could mean i just had a lh i go back go gonal f shots sits my body responded to them? but yet im scared to over stimmulte and waste so much i just wait and save money and do iui and gonal f in jan...and just keep doing femera until then?
so many options i don't know what to do anymore..i wanted to be pregnant like 8yrs ago..and have like 10 kids...but heck i can't even have makes you feel less of a you fail in can't make your husband a dad..your father and mother grandparents or your brother or sisters aunts or sucks sometimes.......i get sick of hearing........

1) your time will come
2) just adopt there are so many children that need familys( ok if i had the money to adopts don't you think i would have moved forward in my infertility treatments?!?)
3) take a few months off (i have many many don't work)

so i ment to be a mother?! or will i be an aunt forever and never get to experiences motherhood??


Friday, August 24, 2012

Hope all these are good signs........

The last couple of days iv been having some symptoms.....I hope its a good sign that my body is working right

1) yesterday/last night got my 1st  happy ovulation face!! yippie!!
2) Hello Acne (i never ever ever break out in acne) 
3)Tired all the time 

4)Mild cramps on right side ( in the front and back) 

5)bloating!! i feel like i should be 5 months pregnant..i look extra chunky lol (only in the belly area)

Signs of ovulation.....

ovulate img

Common Signs of ovulation that occur in most women:

  • Change in cervical fluid. Cervical fluid that resembles “egg whites” is a sign that you are near ovulation or are ovulating. Every woman can experience her own type of cervical fluid, and not all cervical fluid looks the same. Ovulation usually takes place on the day a woman has the most amount of wet fluid.
  • Change in basal body temperature. For most women, you will see that prior to ovulation, the basal body temperature is rather consistent. As you get closer to ovulation, you may have a slight decline, but it will be followed by a sharp increase after ovulation. The increase in temperature is the sign that ovulation has just occurred. Tracking your basal body temperature accurately over a few months can help you predict when ovulation is going to occur.
  • Change in cervical position or firmness. The cervix goes through many changes as a woman ovulates. A woman may notice the clear signs of ovulation; her cervix will be soft, high, open and wet. For most women it will take some time in studying her body to be able to differentiate between what her cervix normally feels like and the changes it goes through during ovulation.
These 3 main signs of ovulation can be studied and learned so that you can accurately predict your time of ovulation. Using the Fertility Awareness Method many women have used these signs to prevent or achieve pregnancy.

Secondary signs of ovulation

There are other ovulations signs that women may experience in addition to the 3 main signs. These are called secondary signs and may not happen as consistently, if at all, for many women.
These may include:
  • Light spotting
  • Slight cramping or pain on one side of the pelvis
  • Breast tenderness
  • Abdominal bloating
  • Increased sex drive
  • Heightened sense of smell, taste or vision
Learning to track your ovulation and pay attention to your signs can be a challenge for some women at first. But over time, many women come to recognize these common signs very easily and are able to use them to gauge where they are in their cycle. Understanding your ovulation time can help you become more in tune with your body and be an active participant in what occurs each month.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

A BIG FAT.........

we are ovulating with out my ovadril!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Todays doctors appt...Drum roll please.......

SUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yep... today's doctors appt was mature follies at all...they were there..nothing big!! so im suppose to use opks see if i get a positive almost 1500000% sure i won't....and then on cd 31 start provera again..bring on my period and start this damn cycle all over again!! Will it come to an end ever?!?!? All this negative stuff is making me go crazy..for forgetting stuff and i can't sleep and my mind is racing...seems like when we are not TTC all i wanna do is ttc, and get my positive..but when we are ttcing im ready to throw my hands up and give up!! i know i won' so lucky to have such amazing support from friends and family!! i will keep fighting this fight until i have a little one to call my own......but days today my heart just hurts.....

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Will i ever be?,,,,,,,,,

Will i ever be a mom? That question no one can ever answer...but why does it hurt so much? iv been doing good...but this last couple of days my moods are horrible and i feel like life sucks...i just don't feel happy..i mean i am happy i have the most amazing husband and family ever..but i feel a piece of me is empty...also...went threw the milestone of my ""estimated due date June 10th"" now October is coming up in a few months..October 25th was the day i had my ultrasound and found out there were no babies growing and Halloween was my dread d&c..i know i shouldn't dwell on the past..and im a very strong person...but sometimes things just heart hurts...Kind of a slap in the fast a few days ago..i went on one of my websites i have not been on since i found out i was pg last yr..and it said..your baby should be 7 weeks now..yep...i should have a baby/or/babies in my house...i should be a momma...why can't i just let it go?? i mean its dumb right?!? dumb i can't move on?  i know there are a few that understand me..and a few of you that may trying to be strong...but all i want do is...scream and cry and just throw my hands up and be done with all the medications and doctors appt..but i can't be..because that's my only hope of becoming a mother..i don't have the money to adopt..

Watching my nephews and niece grow up has been a blessing, im so glade they are healthy and growing like weeds and that their parents allow me to be involved in there lives. I love them to the moon and back and much more........Had a family reunion today it was many kids..and yet leo and i were the only ones with out kids......i enjoyed watching all the kids run around and play but my heart kinda hurt..but thats ok..i will go on..i will put my happy face on and everything will be ok..thas ok to live life like that right?!? well..enough of this i will write more tue after my doc appt!!

****leave you with some pictures, take a few min and look at them ****

I Wish It Didn’t Bother Me

I wish it didn’t bother me
But in the depths of my heart 
and soul it does.

I long to be a mother 
And to hold my child close
To pick out names
Toys and clothes

I want to show a baby 
love so true and dear
To hug and kiss and cuddle with

I wish it didn’t bother me
To see all my friends and family
Being a Mommy or expecting

Going to showers 
Seeing Maternity Photos
It is heart breaking to know
That I will never experience it

Yea I can adopt
But it’s really not the same.
I wish it didn’t bother me

I want to feel the kicks
I want know what it is like
People say I am lucky
But I disagree

The heartbreak one feels
Being unable to bear children
It is indescribable

I wish it didn’t bother me 
But it does

To try and tell the guy you love
That you are unable to give him
Children of his own

What if he can’t handle it
He can’t accept that you’re damaged goods
What if he leaves you for a new girl
One that can give him kids

It is a cruel fate 
That I wouldn’t wish 
Even on my worst of enemies

Sometimes I just need to cry
I need someone to confide in
But despite their greatest efforts
They just don’t understand

I wish it didn’t bother me
But unfortunately it does

~ Nicole Richardson

A soft place to land

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Friday is........

Friday is my last day of femera Wow..seems like i just started it.. i have not had any side effect at all! Been kind of tired but other then that things have been going lets hope that a good sign..and not a bad sign... Yesterday(wed) i had a horrible migraine..i slept all day, and if you know me i don't sleep during the day unless im really really sick!!! it was bad..i slept and had an ice pack under my head for most of the day..But better thank god!! Because it was a bad day yesterday!!! Today i made a few things with my cricut...yep im in love with it :)
Tomorrow (Friday) im going grocery shopping with my granny...Yes its an all day process we drive an hr away to go to a big grocery store that we love called woodmans and we have lunch and just take our time! should be a good day! the weather is going to be nice!!
...Please keep your fingers cross that this medication works....and my follies are growing growing growing....


Please say a prayer for my friend GiGi, she gets her us tomorrow to see if clomid has been working and if her follies are growing and if she will be taking her trigger shot!!

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

WHOLY Hot Flashes!!


Iv been on a few different fertility medications...and iv NEVER got hot flashes like this!!!!

im sitting in my ac house and im sweating like crazy!!!!! YUCK!!

Try to make the best of it i found a few funny pictures :)