Thursday, March 15, 2012


Well took another test and of course i was praying for a miracle to happen or something...But doc wanted me to just check one more i did, didn't surprise me it was a negative...SO...I stop the progesterone and move forward into the next month..We have decided to take a month or 2 off from trying...just because its soo stressful, and just back to back shots.and hormones and doctors appt and nothing besides negatives...So Im going to focus on Us...Make our house less clutter, make our marriage stronger, and just enjoy US since trying is so stressful it takes a toll on your marriage and relationship with people around you, your tired all the time and grouchy and moody and sore and just wanna stay home...Well these next couple of months im going to pucker up and be happy and make the best of it...Get some more weight off, go tanning, and BE happy...Spend more time with my nephews and mom and grandma and Husband!! Im kinda looking forward to the time off...I was very sad we were not pregnant very sad...everything seems to be perfect...but what can you do?!? If i sit and dwell on it all i get is depressed and i don't want that...The Minnesota weather is beautiful, im blessed with some of the most amazing family and friends anyone could ever ask for!!
I hope and pray every night God will bless us with a baby..I know our time will come...I WILL NOT give up...

On another note: Friday im going to see Trace Adkins in concert with my mom!! Also, Red Lobster for dinner and a hotel!! I can't wait..This means alot to me and her..both need some relaxing fun time..My mom is amazing I love her so much!!!

Thank You Again for all the Love and Support Each and every single one of you have gave us!!


Monday, March 12, 2012

another negative...

Another round done..and another Big Fat Negative...Im sad, crushed, hurt, upset....My body has been feeling strange..Very tired at night,cramps, hungry...I dunno i test again on Thursday i can only hope for the best but im sure i will get the worst...When do you throw your hands up and say...Im done?! In June it will be 8 years of trying with an 18month break in between...The medication is crazy expensive...we don't get help from insurance...It has put stress on Leo and I relationship...The doctors appt are nothing besides heart achs and disappointments...So what do i do next?? Do another round and hope for the best? Take a month off?? Go into the doctor and see about ovarian drilling?....UGH!!! im sick of all this...NO one understand ( my internet friends do) but as for family and friends No one understand!! I hurts hurts hurts............Im so over it.................Im going to go on a diet and do protein,veggies, and fruit NO carbs...NO junk food...and get these extra 10 lbs off!!!!!!!!

I know this is going to be mean...But im soo sick of people getting pregnant around me! I know its going to happen...

another negative

Monday, March 5, 2012

sitting and thinking...((not a good thing sometimes))

so im trying to relax do to the fact i feel like crap..went to the doctor today and got some meds...and im sitting and thinking....In week or soo...we test again...i want more then anything then for there to be a BIG FAT POSITIVE!! but if not do i keep going with treatment or do i take sometime off?!? thats hard...because i want anything more then to be a momma, the last couple of days seeing Leo with Colton and Blaze makes me so proud..Hes going to be a fantastic dad...He loves them little boys so much...We could still be pregnant my due date could be in June...But No!!!!!!!! It was taken away..i will never know why!! It still hurts...Still makes me so sad...exspecially when i have friends who were due around the same time as me and i see there cute bellys, and hear about the baby breaks my hear........MAKES ME SAD..........

If You Could See Me Now~Miscarriage video

Sunday, March 4, 2012

whats been going on...........

so its been awhile since iv wrote...whats been going on!?!? a whole LOT of nothing...besides this cold is kicking my butt!! Were still on our 2 week wait...yep i hate the wait...But lets hope and pray with the follicals i had the end up being a baby or babies (2) lol

also all my readers could you please take a moment and go to

And sign the petition that insurance must cover all infertility!! Thank you so much!!