Friday, May 31, 2013

37 Weeks, Doctors appt, and Tori's Room!

Hello 37 week!!!!! I feel pretty good, just tired and tired and more tired..and leg camps and leg spasams..but other then that im good.. haven't been really hungry at all i munch on food hear and there..but its hard to eat alot of food..i just get so full so fast! Leo and i did some major grocery shopping last week and our fridge, freezer and pantry is full of hopefully we won't have to go for awhile! I was so tired after was workout! lol..Leo and i try to go for a walk every night with the dogs i really enjoy it.its one of my favorite part of the days..just talking with my husband and watching the dog run and play and be happy. Life is pretty darn good!

Well lets talk about Tori's Room: ITS DONE!!! Yippe her daddy did such an amazing job on her room, im in love with it! We are so lucky we didn't have to buy any of the bigger items. My crib is my nephews old crib and its still in amazing shape. My nephew decided he didn't like his crib! lol so is pretty much brand new and i Thank my family for letting me have that. The changing table is from a for/sale website  my wonderful mother bought for us! i just couldn't be more thankfull for my family My husband did so much work on her beautiful room! Im just in love with it..its so perfect!! I will post pictures at the end of the post

Doctors appt yesterday: I was 37 weeks and 3 days. Everything was perfect baby hb was perfect my belly is measuring perfect. i am 1 cm dilated and 75% thinned out. Lets hope in the next few weeks she will arrive. Our family is so ready to meet Tori. She is so loved so much already! Her daddy and I can't wait to hold her and kiss her! but other then that the doctors appt when great..i go back next tuesday :)

Changing table with all her goodies :) 
Bookshelf, and her dresser :) 
Cute crib bedding (thanks grandma and grandpa himle)
Diaper bag (thanks grandma himle)
Cute wall decor 
Cute wall decor 

Crib, and bath tub (in crib) her cute wall colors 

****FULL TERM *****

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

36 weeks.... and counting...

Hello 36 weeks... we have 4 weeks to go!! Give or take...Hopefully give..because im so ready to meet this little bundle of joy!! plus this momma's hips are killing her along with back and well pretty much my whole body!! i know i should't complain because iv waited so long for this... but honeslty who wants a hurt body all the time?!? No one!
SO FAR....the muscle relaxing pills...are a no go..don't work wtih a iv still been dealing with stupid leg cramps and restless legs! some nights are better then others at least i get a few hours of sleep at night.. I had one really really strong contractions last night..(i think it was a contraction) it pretty much hurt like heck! i only had it 1 time last night so im not sure if it was thew way i moved, or if i moved to fast or if it actually was a contraction... Little Miss Tori's room is almost done! Pretty much just have to put the decor, and wash her clothes and blankets (today's to-do list) Also...need to get the frontroom back in order so it dosen't look like a contstruction zone, and get her swing and pack and play up! It's just amazing how much stuff this little girl has and she isn't even here yet!! Just wish our new addition to our house would be done..I pretty much would be if some people would put us on there piriority list and not forget about us......ugh..frustrtating...If we get pregnant and have another kid..were either going to A) have to get a new house, or B) this is going to have to be done or C) move in with my mom, what the heck she has enough room..Lol, just kidding!!...Also on my to-do list...finish packing our hospital bags...i have them part done, but should really finish them.. also make sure i have all the insurance info put in my much to do in such little time....anywho...other then that things are going emotions are crazy .
.i think just overwhlemd and being tired everything is just kicking in...... Well i will up date later!! :) here are some pictures of Tori's room (its not done yet) and a belly picture( also she has dropped some)

36 week belly

The countdown....
Tori's awsome crib, from Aunti MeMe and Cousin Blaze

Tori's library 
Thank you Grandma For this cute changing table 

Friday, May 17, 2013

...Reflect....on our journey..(short sum)

Wow..what can i say... Its been a long almost 9 yrs!! 
All i can say is were truly blessed with the most amazing little miracle ever...Tori Michelle is going to be loved so much..she will never know how much!!
Lets do a little reflection on life and our journey

June 19th Leo and I will be married 9 years!! 9 crazy wonderful emotional years! I love him more then words can say!! He has been my rock!! When we got married we new we were going to have a long road ahead of us to get pregnant..but my wonderful husband was up to take this long emotional challenge with me. we did many rounds of clomid..and my body hates clomid..even when i was heavy and even when i was at my smallest..I have something called pcos, i dont' get a normal cycle like woman without pcos do.. I could go years and years with cycles, i have/had cyst on my ovaries and i never ovulated ..well we did many rounds of clomid and then we stopped clomid and took a break...then we were ready to try again and the doctors wanted me to drop weight..i tried..i tried ...i tried..and the weight was not coming off...i ended up getting gastric bypass over 3 1/2 yrs ago.. and it was truly the most amazing thing ever..i went from almost 300lbs to up to 185(my pre pregnancy weight) i gained the weight back doing gonal-f shots the hormone shots made my poor body go crazy..anywho... After taking a long 18 months off from trying for a baby we got the ok from the doctors... and we tried and ovulation no positive pregnancy test..nothing.. i remember the months i would cry because i wanted to be a mom so many times.. i remember being so mad at others being pregnant..i remember just wanting to give up..and just live our lives with out kids... but i new deep down..Leo and i were meant to be parents.. October of 2011 we got our 1st big fat positive!!!!!! omg was we were excited and scared at the same time.. but things didn't feel right... i had spotting..some spotting is normal (implantation bleeding) but i had some cramping..and well things were just not getting any better.. Went to the er with my mom and the doctor said it looked like i was mc and there was nothing she could do.... well then i had a follow up appt.and had an ultrasound and we had two sacs with 1 fetal we still had hope my hcg numbers were going they thought that maybe we could have been carrying twins and lost one.. we went back for a 7 week us and there was nothing there.. i cried and cried.. i went into a deep depression.. i ended up getting a d&c done..i was pregnant (to me i was) and i lost both babies.. i felt less of a woman, i felt broken i felt defeated.. i felt like i was done.. i didn't wanna do it anymore.. i couldn't handle the pain.. i was at the end of the rope.. i was in a deep depression and wanted to do nothing besides stay in bed...The only thing that cheered me up at the time was my nephews.. just seeing there little faces was the only thing that made me smile... but i finally got out of that slump and was ready to try again... my husband and family stood by my side during everything..they help lift me up and see the light and that things will be ok..and will work out at the end.. we had many treatments we have not tried yet... Well needless to say..we scrapped up enough money and did 4 more rounds of gonal-f and ovadril and timed intercourse..and we just were not falling pregnant.. we decide to one more month of it and then take a long break and then do iui after xmas.. well...after doing our last round of gonal-f  and clomid i took a pregnancy test and it was negative.i was heartbroken..i was like really again..ugh!! but something told me to re-test again a few days later.. Leo and i were going to go out and have a few adult i wanted to test 1 more time... i tested and jumped into the shower...and then peaked and seen that there a positive on the pregnancy test... no flippen way was that a true positive..because 2 days before it was negative.. it was wrong, i had to be a false positive...No it was 100% a real positive pregnancy test.. I went and showed my mom and grandma and they were so so excited.. I texted leo and he was so excited..but yet we were both so scared..what if something happened like last time?!? I got my hcg levels and they were pretty low but i got them taken again a few days later and they went up..but were still low..but they went up so that was good news.. we found out around 3 1/2 weeks 7 weeks 1 day we got our 1st ultrasound sound and there was a baby, with a beautiful heartbeat..i couldn't believe it... WE were having a baby!!!!!!!!! my fears never go away..i still worry at almost 36 weeks pregnant.. that something will happen to this miracle.. This little girl will never ever know how much she was wanted and how much we love her...I can't wait to hold her and kiss her and love her forever and ever..she will be our pride and joy!! She is truly a miracle baby!!

and i want to thank my husband for putting up with me, threw everything..the good the bad the ugly the worst the best everyone.. he could have gave up and left along time ago..but he never did..he is the best thing ever.. i want to thank my mom, for going to all my appt and letting me cry on her shoulder and just be made at the world..she is my best friend and i love her so much.. I hope im at least half the wonderful mom she was i am to Tori!! Also all my friends who have seen me at my worst and my best and who always was there to love and support us!! Thank you!! You are all truly amazing!!!
I will never forget the long emotional heartbreaking road it was to get to where we are today!! i was pcos, and infertility was something no woman/or couple had to deal with..its such a horrible thing!! But it truly only made me a stronger person!!

Monday, May 13, 2013

34/35 weeks

Nothing much has changed besides me getting very very very un-comfortable..and my emotions are all over the place! I could probably cry at a drop of a dime. I can't sleep much anymore. My hips are killing me like no other i don't know how much more then can grow... Tori is still as active as ever..She loves my ribs..Yeah mommy not so much.. i can do with out the rib kicks! I have came down with a stupid sinus cold and nothing seems to help..hopefully if it dosen't go away my doctor came give me some medication on Thursday. I have a doctors appt on Thursday then again on the 30th then i go weekly!! We are getting closer and closer!! Eeek! How excited.. Im kinda over being pregnant i just want to hold her and love on her..
Leo has been working magic in her room! We have 3 walls painted and i think tonight he will get the last wall painted..Then we have to get the trim, paint them and he will put them up and then goes carpet and then all her fun stuff, her crib and changing table! Im so excited to get her room organized!!!
I have slowly.sorta kinda started packing our hospital bags.. i know im kinda of pushing all this stuff..i hope she doesn't come for another week or two so her room can be done and our bags will be packed... then she will also be full term! :)

I had my 1st offical mothers day..YIPPIE!!! My husband got me a beautiful card and my mother in law got a card also. and i got so many text and emails and facebook comments from people it was so nice!
We went  and got Tori's paint, Leo took me out for lunch and we just spent the day together enjoying each others was really nice!! :)
Can you belive next year she will be almost 1!! crazy to think!!

well other then that not much else is going on.

here is my 35 week picture

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Doctors appt!!

Had my doctors appt and my last ultraound! and guess what we got some cute 3d pictures!!!!!

Little miss Tori is weiging in at a whopping 4 lbs 7 oz. and has some chubby cheeks and lots of hair!
I think shes going to look like her momma!! :) She is head down and feet shes doing a headstand..we  got to see her practice breathing it was pretty cool and she was moving her little lips
We are down to 47 days till her due date!! thats crazy!! She will be here in no time! I can't wait to hold her and kiss her and love on her!! Leo gives her kisses at nights and talks to her..hes going to be an amazing daddy!!! I love him so much!!
Well iv gained...enough i will be working hard this summer thats for sure to get it off and get back in my size 8 pants or smaller would be nice!
my bloodpressure was perfect! i only get swelling in my hands when its hot outside, or hot in a bulding and i don't get much in my feet unless im walking a crazy amout.. my boobs are gigantic and hurt lol
my face is round and chunky..i swear half my weight is in my face!!
Hopefully leo will get most of the baby room done this weekend so we can paint!!!!!! i need to get things moving along so we can get the crib up, and clothes cleaned..and bags packed..wowsa alot to do..but i have family and friends who i want to help and i will take them up on the offers! i hate painting! so anyone who wants to paint come on over when its but i can't wait to see her room done..its going to be so cute!!
i have another appt in 2 weeks just a quick appt to hear baby and measure my belly and make sure everything is ok.. so lets hope everything keeps trucking along and everyone stays healthy!
here are a few pictures!
Look at all my hair!!!
33 weeks 2 days Baby tori, very chubby cheeks!