The Blame Game....

Do you ever blame yourself for something even though you know deep down its not your fault? Iv been feeling horriable lately and i keep telling myself that its my stupid bodys fault that we lost our baby..Then all the what ifs run threw your head..
What if i was at my goal weight and healthy?
what if i was not under so much stress?
what if i keept taking my progestrone?
What if i didn't skip my vitamins?
what if i wasn't on my sleeping pills?
What if i didn't drink before i started my fertility shots?

So many what ifs......And it sucks and it hurts and its killing me...Like i feel like i need to be perfect before January before i start this round again...

Perfect weight, i refuse to take any sleeping pills, i take my prenatials vitamins in the morning...
I'm trying i feel just horriable,,and its putting alot of stress on me and leo and its just because i'm good at pushing people away exspecially the ones i love the most!!!
Well tommorw i start my diet wish me luck! I need and want to get these extra 10 lbs off!!!!