last shot(lets hope)

So i just took my ovadril shot! Lets hope and Pray its my last shot for a loooong while!! If not we have enough meds to do 1 more round then might take a break...Its very hard on a person to do shot after shot after shot..I give anyone credit who has to do that on a daily base...My stomach was getting very sore from shots and i was even doing every other side..So now onto the 2 week wait....we have a date were suppose to test on...So lets hope and pay that that date comes fast!!!!! There is alot going on in March...Might be getting a new car...Fingers Crossed**high hopes**..but praying it works out...My mom and i are going away for her bday **early birthday** we have a hotel and going to see trace adkins in concert and dinner at red lobster...yummm!! Then hopefully a day at the zoo with the family...and another benifit for my friends little girl reana...then maybe a trip to illinois at the endsof march!!...So here is to  a fast couple of weeks!!!!!! and hope for a big fat positive!!!

Doctors Appt Today

So Today i had an Ultrasound to check my follicles I had one that measure 18*9 that's considered Mature...Then i had 3 other ones that were greater then ten but less then 18...SO...then wanna drop my Goanl F down to 75 Units VS 187.5 and see if we can get these other ones to mature just a little more! Then my hcg trigger shot on Wed! Lets Hope and pray this works...Because today i kinda feel ishy my belly hurts and just sore..and my boobs hurt...these hormones are crazy...I know they will get worse with pregnancy but i will be fine with it :)

Thought this was Kinda Funny

busy weekend & Blood work

Hello Sunday!! Wow, its been a busy weekend ....Now time to rest....Yesterday i had errands to run in the morning then i went and helped my friend Jennifer get ready for her daughter Reanas benefit she is 10yrs old and fighting leukemia..Shes such a fighter!! Its amazing how kids are just so strong... So i helped out starting at 3pm yesterday...there was a dinner, silent auction and a bake sale...and it turned out fantastic!!! So i wanna say Thank  you to EVERYONE who came out and helped support the Tentis family!! Then the hubby and I hung out with our friends until 2am...came home and went to bed around 3ish am...then was up at 730 and had to be in roch for bloodwork by 9am..and its a hr drive there and back...and its windy as all get out..i was soo tired and didn't wanna drive there for 1min worth of bloodwork...after we were done there we got some dog and cat food and came home and relaxed...(took a nice nap) woke up around 1pm...still tired...Gotta be back up to rochester at 810am tomorrow morning for a wonderful Us...So my bloodwork came back at 180 it was good...  but not as good as i was hoping..so lets keep our fingers crossed for some mature follicles tomorrow!!! Well i will keep you up date and let you know how tommorw goes!!

....

My Immortal lyricsSongwriters: Hodges, David; Lee, Amy; Moody, Ben;
I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me

did i mess up?!?!

so i was suppose to do 187.5 each day when i did my goanl f shot...but tonight i sat and looked at my medication pen and i have 150 units left...that's not right..so that means i didn't give myself the right does of shots one night...is that the reason my blood levels were not up right?!? what was i thinking not looking or double checking my medication...i could have wasted money and messed stuff up...i feel so dumb!!!!!!

STUPID BLOOD WORK!!!!!!

So today was my estradiol blood test...and who would of figured that nothing can ever go right for me!! I swear LIFE hates me!!! So after 3 days of 187.5 my estradioal test was only 62.8 WTH?!? last time (only about 3 weeks ago) after 3 days of 187.5 my estradioal test was at 193...i see this month just like the 1st month we keep going on and on with  Bloodwork and Us..how do i keep strong?!? How do i n ot give up?!You  may never understand  me or what im going threw and to think that a simple bloodtest can make or break how your day goes...it can...when your hoping and wanting something so bad and its not working....it kills you inside....I am only 1 person i can only handle so much emotional stuff...exspecally bad news...How do i keep moving forward? Testing, after testing, after failed results...After you want someonthing so bad and it so far away....i see no end at the tunnle...What did i ever do to end up with stupid pcos and all the dumb fertility issues?!?! What more can i do?!? Iv dropped 125lbs...Iv been exercising every single day iv been eatting every healthy...Sometimes im ready to throw my hands up and say im done...

shots!! day 2

Well Day 2 of shots done and over with 187.5! I feel pretty good they haven't made me sick or cranky or crabby or crampy...so im hoping thats good...Go in for for blood work Thursday morning to check my levels hope there up high agian!! Just paid for the rest of my medication should arrive Thur afternoon...I tell ya ordering my meds and making sure they get here on time is S.T.R.E.S.S.F.U.L.L!! I just wanna tell you how that im so thankfull for my familys help with money this time around! We are so blessed to have such amazing people in our lives!!! 

Life may be crazy time...but my family is always there for me

day 1 of shots done

well were back on the wagaon to have a baby again...day 1 of shots done!!!

Round 3......

Well my period arrived on Saturday....yippie skippie (NOT) so today i will start round 3 of gonal f shots at 187.5 that same as last night...so all we can do is hope for the best!! Keeping my fingers crossed!!

A BIG FAT

N.E.G.A.T.I.V.E

It sucks alot!! I cryed alot yesterday/last night i just new i had this feeling..and because i took a pregnancy test and it was neg. Well onto round number 3 i guess...I need to come up 630$ for medication, my dad is sending 200$ were taking 250$ out of our life insurance policy's we have 125$ in savings. total we have so far is 575..we will just put money away from this check to have the extra 55$...


Its stress full it sucks, BUT my body got pregnant once before...it can get pregnant again...
Im hoping and praying that we can keep doing this shots and the ovadril shot with timed intercourse..Because iui is any where around 1000-3000$ and ivf well hell one round cost about as much as a new car!!


Talked to the nurse yesterday if i got a negative today im suppose to stop taking my progesterone suppositories and i should get my period by next wed...if not to call them and let them know then i will start provera again


Well hope you all have a great Friday/weekend!!

1st round vs 2nd round

	1St Round of Gonal F	VS	2nd round of Gonal F
Start Dose on Shots	150	-VS-	187.5
End dose on shots	187.5	-VS-	187.5
Days I did shots	14	-VS-	5
Estrial dial blood test	After 6 days it was at 100	-VS-	After 3 days 193
Follicle measured	1 measured at 18 a few little ones under 10	-VS-	1 measured 26  *21 a few little ones under 10
Took Ovadril Shot	Yes	-VS-	Yes
Timed Intercourse	Yes 12 and 36hrs and in-between	-VS-	Yes 12 and 36 hours and in-between
Pregnant	Yes, ended in Blight ovum pg ,,Had D&E on Halloween 2011	-VS-	No
Progesterone Suppositories	Yes morning/night	-VS-	Yes morning/night

I just don't understand..2nd round was perfect.................

ugh.............

so we test in less then 24hours i know its going to be a bfn i don't feel pregnant and i just have this gut feeling...its not our month...so onto another round of meds...it seem liked everything was perfect my body responded well to the shots besides i only got one follicle maybe if Had like 2 or 3 we would be pregnant i dunno i just hate my body i wish i could switch or get a new one...Im sick and tired of everyone have baby's and young kids having babys and people who have one night stands have babys..will it ever be my turn..i honestly don't know how much more mentally i can take of this...every time i get a negative all i wanna do is hide under my covers and cry...no one around me understands what the hell im going threw everyone is popping out babies left and right. Maybe after this month i will take a month or two off and try to get down to my weight of 160-155lbs maybe just getting that much more weight off will  help my body...i doughy it getting 125lbs off didn't help do a damn thing besides made me kinda healthier but now if i gain a few pounds i freak out...Im suppose to go out with a fried this saturday but i don't really know if i wanna go...iv left this person down before...i dunno...i guess i will just go out....I HATE HATE HATE this!!!!!!!! i hate my fn body...i hate that im not a mother i hate that i lost my baby....I hate that my 2 younger sisters have kids before (however i do love them and they are great moms) I hate that i know people who can look at a guy and bam there pregnant..What did i ever do to deserve this?!? Yep i can tell you today,friday, sat, and sun is all going to be HORRIBLE FRIKEN days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will pick up my provera tomorrow and start that so we can get the show on the road to get pregnant... The medication is so expensive...Stupid insurance sees infertility as a cosmetic...oh lord come on..having a flippen baby is not cosmetic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 I ask this question all the time! WHY ME?!?! what did i ever do to deserve all this hurt in my life?!? I get blessed with an amazing husband a fantastic family...But then i can't have a baby i have pcos and look like a man(do to extra body hair) i have depression , i lost my 1st baby, iv been threw many treatments to get pregnant , i had a d& done my body should have been cleaned out and ready for this round..i waited a few months to try again....If we don't get pregnant on gonal f and ovadril doing timed intercourse We can't afford iui or ivf!! I will be childless i just know it....I will never be a mom!!!!!!!!!!
Ever want something so badly?!?! that it HURTS!!
It is my fault!! Its my body that wont work...Not Leo's his body is fine!! Im the broken one!!!

 Hope...Something i have very little of anymore....














I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let ?em out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though
Goin' on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret
[From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/r/rascal-flatts-lyrics/what-hurts-the-most-lyrics.html]
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And havin' so much to say
(Much to say)
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do, oh
Oh yeah

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And havin' so much to say
(To say)
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

Not seein' that lovin' you
That's what I was trying to do, ooo

Embarrasing questions.

Since this is an information Blog along with my journey...I'm going to fill  you with some more info today :)

Embarrassing Silly questions we all have but don't wanna ask!!! well here you go Lady's and gents here are some answers!!

1. Does having an orgasm help you to get pregnant?

In theory, an orgasm could help you get pregnant, but experts agree it's definitely not necessary. During an orgasm, the uterus contracts, causing a vacuum effect which could theoretically move sperm up into the uterus. But Sandra Gahn, co-author of The Infertility Companion: Hope and Help for Couples Facing Infertility points out, "There's a certain logic in this theory, yet while studies have shown such a vacuum effect exists, whether it actually brings about a higher pregnancy rate is unproven."

The key to getting pregnant is not having an orgasm (although it sure makes trying more fun), but timing intercourse to correspond with your fertile period. Trying to force yourself to have an orgasm every time is a recipe for disaster since the stress will not put you in the mood. If you do want to have an orgasm during intercourse, many women are not able to have an orgasm from intercourse alone, so added manual stimulation may help.

2. Should I try to stop the sperm from leaking out after sex? For how long?

After ejaculation, the fluid that carries sperm liquefies and most of it runs out. Your body can't use and doesn't need that fluid, so it's has to run out at some point. You may be worried that you're losing valuable sperm, but according to Dr. Michael Bohrer, MD, endocrinologist with Reproductive Medical Associates of New Jersey and former director of the IVF program at the Robert Wood Johnson Medical Center, "The vagina naturally slopes backwards and the majority of ejaculate will be retained."

Sperm are speedy and can make their way to the Fallopian tubes within five to 10 minutes of ejaculation. Many experts recommend lying on your back with a pillow under your hips for about 15 to 20 minutes after intercourse. The consensus is that it can't hurt and may help. But forget standing on your head—that won't do anything other than make you dizzy.

3. Are there any sexual practices we should avoid while trying to conceive? For example, is saliva harmful? Sex toys? Flavored lubricants?

Lubricants can make intercourse more comfortable and pleasurable, but they aren't conducive to conception. Dr. Mark Leondires, MD, a reproductive endocrinologist with Reproductive Medicine Associates of Connecticut, says, "Oil-based lubricants or any product containing scents or inorganic materials are likely to kill sperm." Lubricants also affect sperm motility, slowing down the swimmers. According to Dr. Leondires, studies have found that all lubricants on the market have some impact. A new product called Pre-Seed is marketed as a lubricant for those trying to conceive, but there are no independent studies yet proving that it does not impact sperm.

Dr. Jay Schinfeld, MD, reproductive endocrinologist with Abington Reproductive Medicine in Abington, Pennsylvania, says, "The safest two lubricants are egg whites (to use, take a medium-to-large egg, separate the white, and let it come to room temperature) or olive oil." He points out that salmonella is not a concern with egg whites unless they get in the mouth, so avoid oral sex after the application. Saliva is not harmful to sperm. And sex toys are not a problem, as long as you wash them carefully and avoid contamination from the rectum.

** Note from Me: Pre-Seed can be bought offline or walgreens has it runs about 22$ a bottle**

4. Is there a sex position that's best for conceiving?

Good news here—whatever floats your boat works just fine. Most experts agree that any position that deposits sperm next to the cervix is effective. Some women worry that if they are on top, sperm will leak out immediately. Semen is very thick when it is ejaculated and liquefies with time. This keeps it next to the cervix long enough for the sperm to forge ahead. However, director of Georgetown University's Institute for Reproductive Health, Dr. Victoria Jennings, MD, points out there is a common belief that missionary position is best. "There is not actual evidence for this, but it certainly can't hurt." Different positions do not influence the sex of the baby.

5. I think my husband masturbates sometimes. Should he stop while we're trying to conceive?

Frequent masturbation can reduce your partner's sperm count temporarily, but occasional masturbation is not a concern. Men have a 24/7 sperm factory at work; two days of ejaculation in a row have no effect on sperm, but more than that could decrease sperm count. If you're concerned, suggest that he abstain during your fertile period when you will be having regular sex. But the rest of the month is not a problem, in fact, "Abstaining from ejaculation for too long is also detrimental to male fertility," says Dr. Bohrer.

6. Do we have to have sex every day while I'm trying to get pregnant?

"Couples who have sex every one to two days conceive more quickly than those who have sex every three to four days," reports Dr. Peter McGovern, MD, reproductive endocrinologist in the Department of Reproductive Science at Hackensack University Medical Center in Hackensack, New Jersey. The standard advice from fertility clinics is to have sex every other day during your fertile period (from five to six days before ovulation to one day after).

(If you're getting tired from the effort, check out When Babymaking Becomes a Chore.)

7. Is there a body type that's best for conceiving? I'm flat-chested and thin-hipped . . . are women with more curves more fertile?

"Fertile women come in all sizes," says Glahn, pointing out that women of all body types are able to get pregnant. However, Dr. Randy Morris, MD, associate clinical professor of Reproductive Endocrinology at the University of Illinois School of Medicine in Chicago, says a recent study has shown that women with larger breasts and slimmer waists have higher levels of estrogen and progesterone, the hormones associated with fertility. The study did not compare pregnancy rates though. Since you can't control your basic body shape, focus instead on staying healthy and maximizing your fertile period.

8. Is it OK to diet while trying to get pregnant? Is it safe to cut out carbs?

Some dieting is OK. Dr. Bohrer says, "A well-balanced and healthy diet accompanied by light exercise is ideal." He cautions that "extreme diets like South Beach and Atkins induce a starvation-type response, not good if you are trying to conceive." Make sure you're getting enough calcium, folic acid, and iron by taking a prenatal vitamin.

9. My period isn't late yet, but I really feel like I'm pregnant. Am I crazy? How early can I do a home pregnancy test?

Early pregnancy often feels just like a period about to start, but some women notice the effects of the early rise in HCG levels, which can result in breast tenderness. Dr. Morris conducted an informal five-year survey at his infertility office and asked women about to take a pregnancy test if they believed they were pregnant. "Most pregnant patients did not think they were pregnant," he discovered. A pregnancy test is the best way to determine if you are pregnant, and a blood test is the most accurate, particularly in early pregnancy. Home tests are accurate when used according to package instructions, usually not until the first day of your missed period, though some brands now offer results up to five days sooner, with decreased accuracy.

10. If I get my period regularly does that mean I'm ovulating and fertile?

Fortunately, for the vast majority of women, regular periods equal ovulation. Not getting a period is definitely a sign that you may not be ovulating, but it is possible to get a period in months in which you do not ovulate. "Even the fact that you're ovulating doesn't mean for sure that you're able to get pregnant," points out Dr. Jennings, because you could have tube blockage or low progesterone levels or other problems. If you're concerned, chart your basal body temperature and use an ovulation prediction kit. If you ovulate in the month you test, then it is likely you are ovulating monthly.

11. My periods are usually very regular, but the last one was late. Could that mean I was pregnant and miscarried?

It is possible. Ten to 25 percent of all pregnancies end in miscarriage, including many pregnancies that women aren't even aware of because they occur very early. "Early pregnancy losses are extremely common and not a cause for concern," reassures Dr. McGovern. You would not experience more cramping with an early miscarriage, and the only way to know you that you were pregnant and miscarried would be with a blood test. Having a late period one or two times a year is in fact normal and often due to stress, travel, exercise, or illness.

Infertility and marriage

As a woman who is happily married for 7 1/2 years and Trying to conceive for almost the entire time. Infertility is very hard on a marriage! All the test, the doctors appointments the stress the disappointments!! I know things have been kind of stressed for Leo and I the last couple of weeks and alot is to do with me! The hormone shots make me moody and sick and someday im feeling great other days im so tired and feel like crap. I try my hardest and i know hes not mad but sometimes i feel like a horrible wife/spouse! Its hard sometimes i wish my body would do something right...after many fails of clomid, and 125lbs lost and then we get pregnant end up in a mc and now were on the 2 week road again....How much more can a person/couple take?

Well here are some articles i found that have great info

It’s not infertility itself that can weaken your marriage - it’s how you cope as a couple that counts.

1. Accept that it’s a lifelong process. Coping with infertility - and perhaps accepting that you’ll have a childfree life together - can take years. You won’t mourn the idea that you may never have kids once and be done with it! Rather, you may have to accept it anew when you see a pregnant friend or talk to relatives you rarely see. Keeping your marriage strong in infertility involves the realization that your sadness may be a constant companion. Your partner may never “get over it.” It may affect his/her life forever.

2. Set your boundaries. If your partner needs to talk about the IVF struggles or miscarriages more than you do, then you need to set your boundaries. Boundaries are important for strong marriages - they allow partners to communicate what they need and why. Boundaries also include compromises: if you don’t want to talk about infertility issues and your partner does, then your boundary could be a certain amount of talking time…and that’s it for the day (or week, even). This is SO dependent on what the couples’ situation and personalities - there are no set rules for keeping your marriage strong in infertility!

3. Give more than you get. This may seem contradictory to “setting your boundaries”! If both partners are giving as much as they can, then they’re building a strong marriage. But, giving all you can doesn’t mean letting your partner take advantage of you or disregard your boundaries. The more you do for your partner, the more you’ll get in return (providing your partner isn’t selfish, oblivious, or emotionally unhealthy).

A Marriage Survival Kit

Many couples who experience infertility discover that their marriage is on a survival mission—and it’s not just a training exercise! How can you and your spouse preserve your relationship—and even improve it—during this difficult time?

We recommend marriage survival kit. Make sure it contains the following items:

1 A Band-Aid 

Why? Because it will remind you of an important characteristic of husbands: They like to make things feel better.

Husbands hate to see anything broken—especially their wives, who are hurt by the dashed hopes and crushed dreams that mark infertility. As one husband put it, “The most difficult part is knowing that Linda (my wife) is in so much pain.”

In our case, John hated it when Sylvia grieved over our infertility. He hated it so much that he was quick with “Band-aid” words and a quick kiss to make it better.

It will happen,” he reassured. “Don’t worry, we’re still young. We can always try again next month. Why don’t you and I go out for dinner this evening so you can get your mind off infertility? Talking about it all the time only makes you depressed. You need to start looking on the bright side of things. After all, you’ve got me, and we’re happy together! Be thankful for what you’ve got.”

Behold: Mr. Fix-it to the rescue! Like John, most husbands think it’s their God-given duty to make their wives feel better.

Unfortunately, these husbands tend to downplay the pain. Their motives may be great, but their strategy isn’t. Women suffering from infertility don’t need someone to minimize the pain; they need someone who understands it.

Husbands need to learn that they don’t have to fix the pain. They can’t! More helpful than “fixing” is simply going to your wife, putting your arms around her, and saying, “You’re really hurting today, aren’t you? I can’t make it better, but I want you to know that I love you—and when you hurt, I hurt too.”

2. A Stopwatch Wives like to talk more than their husbands do. Marriage and family therapist Philip Nienhuis says,

“Studies have indicated that in a typical day a woman will use significantly more words than her husband will use. He will be very matter of fact in stating the experiences of the day, or relating interactions with people he has met. She, on the other hand, will tend to go into much greater detail in reporting experiences or describing relationships…

Many women find it therapeutic to talk —it is a way of relieving stress. Men, on the other hand, often find that talking about an issue produces stress.”

Picture this: A husband comes home, exhausted after a challenging day. The only thing he wants to do is hibernate in front of the Monday night football game. The last thing he wants is to talk about infertility—again!

Meanwhile, his wife had a difficult day too. A woman at the office has announced an unexpected, unwanted pregnancy. Devastated by the unfairness of it all, the wife comes home and wants to talk with her husband about how this makes her feel.

What’s going to happen when these two come together for the evening? Tension, not tenderness!

Here’s where the stopwatch comes in. It can remind a couple of what has often been called the “Twenty-Minute Rule.”

As far as we can determine, Merle Bombardieri first came up with the idea in the National RESOLVE Newsletter. It’s a simple technique designed to let couples talk about infertility without allowing it to dominate the relationship. Having discussed their infertility often and in depth in the past, the couple agrees that if one of them brings up the topic, they’ll discuss it for 20 minutes and no longer. After 20 minutes they’ll move to another subject.

This is a good rule! When it’s practiced, several things happen. The wife knows she has to focus her comments clearly or she’ll miss her chance. The husband, instead of listening with one ear while the other is trying to catch the football score, concentrates on what his wife is saying because he knows it’s not going to be an all-night conversation. Best of all, they have the rest of the evening to talk about and do other things.

3. Bubble Bath and Candles For many couples undergoing infertility treatment, romance is an early casualty. Though some report that the experience draws them closer, many find it takes a toll on intimacy and spontaneity.

How can you keep your romance alive? Try little things—a love note in lipstick on the bathroom mirror, a love poem tucked into a briefcase, a night at a cozy bed-and-breakfast, a long evening walk together. Sometimes all it takes is a bit of creativity. We like the way Colleen Botsios describes a romantic evening with her husband (originally written in the book, When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden):

“Two years ago on Valentine’s Day, I was feeling about as low as I’d ever been. All the basic infertility workup had been completed and nothing stood out as an obvious impediment to pregnancy. But then, as always, I regrouped. It was Valentine’s Day—a time to be festive and romantic.

My husband arrived home from work about 6 P.M. And I met him in a sexy nightgown, explaining that I had a romantic evening planned. I showed him to the bathroom, which was dark except for the votive candles scattered around. The whirlpool was gurgling away in the corner, complete with coconut bubble bath and really hot water…

Somewhere in the special aura of the evening, infertility, though still close, was somehow far away from us and not so overwhelming. There was temporarily some room to cuddle and smile and laugh heartily.”

4. A Cell Phone Sometimes even the closest of couples run out of patience, hope, or energy. When the challenges of infertility tax your resources to the limit, help can be just a phone call away. Don’t hesitate to consult a counselor or pastor, even if it’s just a few sessions to get your relationship back on track.

5) PEACHES AND PLUMS Thankfully, many of us have spouses who understand and care. In such marries there’s a wonderful sense of making the journey of infertility together. Partners hurt together, pray together, and support one another as they face the challenges of infertility or miscarriage.

In these marriages, husbands accompany their wives to doctors’ appointments and are present for every procedure. They bring their wives a bouquet or arrange for dinner out on those dark days when gloom is running high and hope is running low. Husbands like that are “peaches.”

And in these marriages, wives understand their responsibility to support their husbands—especially when the husband appears to have the main medical problem. These wives know that being told by a physician, “You’re not in the major leagues in terms of sperm production or motility,” or, “I’m afraid you’re sterile,” is difficult for any man to take.

These wives know the last thing their husbands need are comments like, “I told you a long time ago you should be checked,” or, “You knew you should have been wearing boxer shorts, but you’re too stubborn.”

A husband needs a wife who, using her God-given charm and grace helps him to know that he’s still sexy, strong, and valued. Such a wife is a “plum!”

Whether your spouse has told you or not, he or she is counting on you. Your marriage can thrive—if you renew your commitment to be the wife or husband your partner needs

#tiredboredmindisracing

Can u read my title? Tired, Bored, Mind is racing.....Yep so im going to blog!! I have some crazy bad cramps and some spotting **dislike** and i test in a few more days!! Must be a sign that im not pregnant or something went to the mail box and got a letter in the mail from my doctor with all my fertility shots prescriptions and my paper to fill everything out.....Lordy could this day get any more stress full ALSO on top of it all im spotting!! Yep!! How friken fantastic!...I wanted to make this cute marshmallow dessert for our vday dinner ya that pretty much was a epic fail..however i did make some cake batter puppy chow that turned out good...I just got my nails done yesterday and busted one off today..so my thumb looks kinda silly..and i also burned myself on the wood stove...............UGH!!!!!!!!

Im going to take a nap..maybe that will get me out of this horrible horrible mood!!

On a good Note i did 2 admissions to the Minnesoa Zoo Thanks to WBHA 1190AM radio station

happy valentines day................

I have a Love/Hate relationship with v-day! Really whats the purpose of it? do we really need 1 day to tell our significant other and friends and family we love them?!? Shouldn't we be telling them every single day how we feel?!? All vday is good for is stress/candy that will make u fat and to spend un necessary money on silly stuff..I dunno maybe im just being weird...I have the best husband ever and friends and family they know i love them every day...i don't need 1 day to just say Hey guess what I love you!! However...i am looking forward to dinner with the family tonight!!!!!!!!!

Im dumb, im dumb, i dumb........

so.................My date to take a pregnancy test is coming up sometime this week......or the beginning of next week...and what do i do...i test....and of course it was negative!!!!!!!! I'm not even 5 days before my period arrives yet...what the hell was i thinking this 2 week wait seems like a lifetime...I hope and pray I'm pregnant do i think i am deep down NOPE...i do have a few symptoms tired...and sore boobs...but anything can make me tired and my boobs are always sensitive...ugh really I'm dieing inside for this wait to be over...even if it is Negative then we can start another round of shots...........Lord let me make it threw these next few LONG DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do i do this to myself?!? i know the outcome because I'm maybe 6dpo there is No way not even a blood test could tell if i was pregnant i guess i was just hoping some miracle it would say Positive! Then i would be happy go lucky blah blah blah!! but nope...................ugh!!

I will become pg someday right?!? i will be a mom someday right?!? i know no one can answer these questions...but infertility SUCKS!!!!!!!

Happy Sunday!!

** Happy Sunday** Phew this lady is tired!! Been a busy week/weekend! Yesterday Leo and I went shopping went and seen the movie Journey 2 and went out to eat was a good day! But i was tired when we got home.. Today went to moms house and visited and took there big antenna down off there roof since it was fall then cleaned like crazy...Front room clean, dishes done, bathroom cleaned...Now I'm ready for bed ha ha..time for dinner!!

Were still waiting to test.........someday soon..........but i hate hate hate waiting!!!!!

This is dumb

This 2 week wait is killing me!!!! I wish we didnt have to wait so long...and you could simply take a home pregnacy test and find out..or get blood work......Lord let me make it threw these next couple of weeks...I have been staying busy..but the days still seem to drag on F.O.R.E.V.E.R.!!!!!!!!!!!!

because...

I'm a worry wart! Since i had that  bleeding last night, really dark 1 time and a few other times really light i called the doctor today...and she said its either 1) implantation bleeding she said that can happen as soon as 2 days after ovulation or 2) my suppositories causing irritation.,,So lets Hope it was implantation bleeding!!!

((Thank you to Jean for letting me vent last night threw email))

((Thank you Alicia for letting me vent threw text and for telling me its OK to call the doctor if it makes me feel better))

I did another hour of Holy Yoga its so nice to exercise and get to hear about Jesus Christ and just be relaxed and calm..what a beautiful way to start the day !! \

Since i went to bed at 3:30am this morning was was up at 8:15am I'm due for a nap :)

Have a great afternoon everyone!!



wtheck?!

My body is just weird......So i still have awhile till i take a pg test or even until my period is due...and today ((tim)) i used the restroom and wipped and there was bright red blood, almost coverd the toilet paper..Too Soon for implantation...i belive...maybe ovulation? maybe my medication...i dunno i was freaking out...ugh i hate hate hate this.......

Prayer to Heal the Pain of Infertility

Dear Lord, the pain of infertility is so deep. All of our lives, we dream of being mothers, of raising children with loving hearts to do your will on this earth. Month after month when that dream does not come true, it so painful, Lord. We feel like our dreams die each month with empty arms. Please guide us to trust in your plan for us. We desperately need you in our lives. Thank you for all the blessings we do have, knowing through you all things are possible. Amen