Friday, April 19, 2013


Im sitting here Trying to get the house clean..and all i want to do cry..i feel very overwhelmed tired..beyond tired im exhausted physically and mentally.. My mind is aways racing a mile a minute.. i have a billion things to do or try to get done..but yet its so hard to do anything when your so tired.. Its getting to the point where bending over and picking up clothes is hurting my belly so iv just been crawling on the floor picking up stuff..and throwing stuff into a basket and then have leo carry the basket into the laundry room.. I have been trying to keep up on the house..but yet again hard to do when your so tired. My legs hurt at night and they twitch so bad i know i keep complaining about it..but there is honestly nothing i can do.. im doing everything in my willpower to help myself relive any pain or discomfort i have, even if that means taking a hot bath every two hours until 4am in the morning.. or sitting on the exercise ball..or falling asleep with a masager on my legs or sleep with my bedroom freezing cold because the heat only makes it worse (i know my poor husband has been frozen)( Note to self get out extra covers tonight) Iv been doing more walking, stretching and exercising during the see if that will help..sometimes it does..some times it dosent.. i eat bananas, heck iv even started drinking milk and i HATE, HATE HATE milk..i take my vitamins every single day and i even tried sleeping pills..sometimes they work sometimes they dont..
I am truly the most blessed person in the world to have this amazing little girl growing inside of me..Iv had a pretty easy pregnancy but this 3rd trimester is litterly kicking my a$$! I love my family and husband to death but sometimes i just feel alone..i talk to them ever single day and i love talking to my family but yet i still feel alone.. maybe depression?? i was talking to the nurse yesterday and pretty much was in tears because i feel house isn't getting clean, i have no energy to visit friends, i want my baby's room to be done...i also would like with doing stuff around my house.. i never ask for help, i hate asking for help, i hate borrowing money i enjoy doing stuff myself..but its getting to the point where..i need help.. but i won't ask for it and i will push myself to do it and get it done.. I don't want to be a burden on no one.. My mom and sisters are busy all the time and my friends have busy lives.. So like always i will be determined to get everything i want done.. and it will get done.. i know it will... because im good at pushing myself..and im more determined to get stuff done because who knows when this little lady will be entering the world.. could be tonight could be in 9 weeks.. we don't cleaning must go on.. life must go on.. and i will be ok.. i will do this... But i can tell you a few things that do make me happy!
I got to spend the day with my mom on Wed..most of it was at doctors apt but hey we got to spend alot of one on one time and i really enjoyed that. I also spent the night at her house on Tuesday and got to hang out with my sisters and nephews and my mom.. pretty much i love my family! Thursday Leo and I went to the doctor got our birth plan done and got to hear Tori's of the most beautiful things ever..and may i say she is a mover and a groovier...shes a busy bod! Also... April 27th Leo and i have all day L&D class then were stay at a hotel over night..should be a relaxing evening after a long day of classes... Then May1st Mom, grandma and I are going to see ms Tori..i get an ultrasound done.. I can't wait to see how much she has changed!! I just wonder what shes going to look like, if shes going to have hair, or chubby cheeks or long toes like her daddy, or the newman nose or the spittler nose.. i just can't wait to hold her..My family is so excited for her.. She is loved buy so many wonderful people.. and i can't wait for her to meet each and every single one of them special people in our lives :)

Well enough random talk...time to get back to cleaning :-/