This crazy cycle.......

9-3-Af started
9-4 -af
9-5 -5mg of femrea
9-6-5mg of femera
9-7-5mg of femera
9-8-5mg of femera
9-9-5mg of femera
9-10-wait (let follies grow)
9-11-wait (let follies grow)
9-12-wait (let follies grow)
9-13-wait (let follies grow)
9-14 -Us...*Great then 10* Started Gonal F 150
9-15-150 gonal f
9-16 150 gonal f
9-17 -Us...*great then 10* nothing really has changed besides my lining is thicker
another 150 of gonal f
9-18-150 gonal f
9-19-150 gonal f
9-20 -Us**will have to see what it says :) *
Can you say lots of crazy hormones!!!!!!!!!

a NEVER ending cycle......

So...a little run down
we did 5 days on femera
had an us...nothing measurable...but they were around 10 or so... (follies that is)
ok..after that u/s doc wanted us to do 3 days of gonal f 150 so we did 3 days of gonal f
another us today...nothing has really changed...so the doc wants us to do another 150 of gonal f for 3 days an another us on Thursday.......Lord please let us have good news on Thursday!!
If not im DONE with this cycle and move onto next month!!

sometimes..i feel....alone........

Sometimes i feel alone........i know i have my family and my few friends...but yet i still feel alone....
No one understand the fertility stuff..in 2 weeks..it will be an year since we got our 1st big fat positive..will i ever get over this?!? will i get my bfp again?? Im trying to help everyone and be the best wife..friend...aunt..daughter.. granddaughter..ect..i can be...I try to keep myself busy...You know i haven't cried in a long time.........haven't cried after my cycle last month..or the month before that...I think all this stuff makes me feel numb sometimes....No one understand the hormones...How one day your fine..the next day you wanna kill everyone.....Maybe sometimes i just ask to much of people?!?
I dunno today is a horrible day ant its ONLY 9:32am!!!

Happy Fricken Ultrasound day..........

Hello Everyone!!
Today i had a nice vaginal ultrasound again.....isn't it so nice to be pocked and prodded..ugh how flipping annoying!! anywho...its been almost 2 weeks and i needed a follie check up since i was on femera 7.5mg..and well guess what my body is still broken..didn't produce much..a few tiny follies.....so i thought once again...another failed cycle..but by surprise..my doc called and wanted me to add some gonal f shots into the picture and come back in on Monday for another us..made me happier!! :) so
Gonal f 150 friday night
gonal f 150 saturday night
gonal f 150 sunday night
and monday another us!! hopefully these tiny follies grew grew grew!!!!! keeping fingers crossed!

a little update

Hello!! so i started my diet..and its killing me!! haha jk! :)
day 1-2 i did protein shakes, and broth
day 3-today i did protein shake and broth, and a few carrots

so things are going pretty good..exercising a little..been tired and busy and doing cleaning and watching the nephews!
im back down to 171 so im pretty happy and i know alot is water weight
hopefully i can get down to 165 in the next month!

well today is cycle day 4..2nd day of femera 5mg! I have an us on the 14th to check the follies..fingers cross that they are growing growing growing and then we can take our ovadril and make a baby!! yippie..ok lets just hope and pray :)

5 day.pouch test....

Since i had rny(weight loss surgery) almost 3  yrs ago(jan will be 3 yrs) iv been craving lots of carbs and been kinda of nuts about them.........so im going to be doing the 5 day pouch diet....it helps stop the carb cravings and shrinks my pouch a little and helps me get back into protein 1st!!im going to do the liquid diet for 3 days..vs 2

Iv done it before and it helps alot get back on track

also im going to exercise alot more!! so lets hope i get back on track and get the pounds off!!

it looks like this

Days One & Two: three Liquid Protein
low-carb protein shakes, broth, clear or cream soups, sugar-free gelatin and pudding. 
Day 4: Soft Protein
canned fish (tuna or salmon) eggs, fresh soft fish (tilapia, sole, orange roughy
Day 5: Firm Protein 
ground meat (turkey, beef, chicken, lamb), shellfish, scallops, lobster, fresh salmon or halibut.
Day 6: Solid Protein
white meat poultry, beef steak, pork, lamb, wild game

at my biggets...then down 122.5lbs



MY SMALLEST WEIGHT DOWN AROUND 127LBS

l    
Back up weight.... :(

stupid af..........

yep! thats right..another round down the toilet.........af showed her ugly face.......but guess what no provera to bring it on!!!!!!! so i am way way way excited about that...i would have been way way more excited about it just not showing up..lol but what can i do..take it day by day..or min by min if i hate to!!

my weekend has been crazy busy but i have enjoyed every min of it!!
will write more later :)

hope everyone is enjoying labor day!!